Becoming A Mom Of Two

Part of me was terrified to have a second child.

I knew I wanted to have all my kids before 30, so I didn’t have much time left. With less than three years to go, I knew if I wanted to be a mom of two, it was now or never. So when we got engaged last summer, Seb and I decided to have our second (and last) child right away.

But I wasn’t sure I would be able to handle another baby.

Not because Elsie was too difficult or because my first pregnancy was tough — neither was really true. It was mainly because I had been a “part-time” parent for nearly two years, only having to be a mom half the time because Elsie spent 50% of her time at her dad’s. I wasn’t sure I could handle being a full-time mom again, having no days to devote entirely to myself and my goals.

And truthfully, I was a little scared about labor and delivery.

My entire pregnancy with Elsie was fairly manageable, no major complaints other than the last month or so. But she was 15 days past due, and ended up being a 9lb 3oz baby after an unbearable 30 hours of labor. (Well, 16 hours if you only count time in the hospital delivery room.)

That labor sucked. It started in the evening, and when I finally went to the hospital they sent me home because my doctor wasn’t available and I hadn’t dilated enough for them to keep me. I went home and waited another 8 hours before returning. Thankfully they decided to keep me that next morning, but it was still another 16 hours before I finally delivered.

I felt like I had zero control over anything during that labor.

There were people in the L&D room who I did not want there. I felt like I was a zoo animal on display; every time a contraction came on, everyone in the room would point and comment. The pain was terrible — my epidural wore off on one side fairly early on. And my doctor was still out of town, so another doctor ended up delivering instead.

The only thing that made my first delivery bearable was the fact that my nurse was a friend from school. She made me feel more at ease, knowing someone in that room (besides my mom) was on my side.

The slight PTSD from my traumatic first delivery made me nervous about delivering a second time.

With my second pregnancy being so challenging (vivid nightmares, raging hormones, kidney stones, chronic back pain, insomnia, hypertension), I was terrified this labor would be worse than the first.

I started showing signs of potential pre-eclampsia at my 37 week appointment.

My blood pressure was higher than normal — all my previous appointments, my blood pressure was normal — and I had been having vision issues. At that point, my blood pressure wasn’t high enough to be an actual concern.

When I went in for my 38 week appointment, my blood pressure was reading 150/100 — a huge concern. Though everything else was normal (aside from occasional blurred vision) my hypertension was bad enough that my doctor decided to induce me that same day.

Having a last minute induction gave me so much anxiety.

You’d think I’d be more anxious not knowing when I would be going into labor, right? But having complications resulting in an unexpected induction made me more anxious than anything.

I spent the late morning with my mom, getting prepared for the hospital and waiting on Seb to make the drive back to town (he was in Indy for work that day, about 60-90 min drive). We got to the hospital just before 1pm.

By late evening, there still wasn’t a whole lot going on with labor.

I’d had my epidural, and couldn’t feel any of my contractions. My mom and Seb were the only ones allowed with me, so it was quiet and calm. I even ended up getting the same nurse who delivered Elsie, which was awesome. And my doctor would actually be there for the delivery, so I was relieved about that.

Honestly, it was a really boring labor and probably the best thing I could have hoped for after enduring months of hell during pregnancy.

I spent pretty much my entire labor (or at least around 10ish hours of it) watching some throwbacks on TV — Grease, Legally Blonde, and Bring It On made the time fly by. Sometime between 12am and 1am, I finally started to feel the discomfort of Teagan pushing his way down and out.

I’m not sure how long it took for me to push him out, but it seemed like only a few minutes. Teagan was born just past 1am after about 12 hours of labor. At 7lb 14oz he was not nearly the monster size baby his sister was (thank god).

The universe must have felt bad for me having to deal with such a hard pregnancy, because Teagan was the most relaxed newborn I’ve ever seen.

Elsie meeting Teagan for the first time.

He slept basically the entire two days we were in the hospital. The only time he really cried was during his first bath when he was naked and cold. He cried out when he had his foot stuck for blood samples, but stopped after about two seconds. And according to the nurses and doctor, he didn’t even make a sound during his circumcision.

Even two weeks later, I’ve really only heard Teagan really scream and cry a handful of times. Usually it only happens if I’m taking too long to get a bottle, or when he’s naked for bath time.