The Secret To Work-Life Balance

The other day I had a friend ask me how I manage to do all the things.

Sometimes referred to as “work-life balance”. Aka, the whole single parent, full time college student, 40+ hour weeks in an office life. Her exact words were: “Enlighten me on how you manage to mom/student/big girl job all at once bc I can’t get anything DONE. Also!!! Motivation. I have zero of it.” Time management is hard.

Honestly, I’ve thought the same thing to myself many, many times. How do I find time to do all those things, plus the regular housework, homework, and shopping? Here’s the truth: I don’t sleep. Kidding (sort of). Let me break down my typical routine/schedule for you guys so you have an idea of what my typical week looks like.

I wake up sometime between 6:00 and 7:00, sometimes earlier if the baby is crying. I drop her off at daycare around 7:30/7:45, get to work around 8:00, and I’m at the office until 5:00. By 5:30, I pick her up from daycare and we go to the store if needed then go home. From 6:00-7:30 we watch cartoons, play, have dinner, and play some more.

And, if it’s bath night, Elsie splashes in the tub for a bit before I lay her down for bed between 7:30-8:00. From that point on, I’m cleaning up around the house (laundry, dishes, toys, etc) and/or working on homework. Some nights I work on a couple of blog posts if I don’t have too much homework to catch up on. At some point I hop in the shower before bed. By the time I get done with everything I want or need to do, it’s usually close to 12:00am. (No joke, it’s 11:30pm as I am editing this and preparing to hit publish.)

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Yep, you read that right – I function on approximately 6 hours of sleep most nights (sometimes less if Elsie decides she doesn’t want to sleep in her own bed).

And those are just “typical” days. To be fair, about half my days aren’t like that. Elsie spends half her time with her dad, so on those nights I have “me” time. But truthfully, “me” time generally equates to finally getting around to doing a big trip to the grocery store.

Gotta interject here for a second. Guys I’ll be honest, it’s difficult to shop with a toddler, and also annoying af because of all the strangers who want to chit chat about said toddler. *insert eye roll emoji here* She also likes to say hi and wave at everyone, which is hella adorable until people want me to stop and talk to them about how adorable she is.

Back to what I was saying before… Sometimes “me” time includes just vegging out and binging on New Girl because god knows I need like 5 minutes to freaking breathe. And of course, spending time with my wonderful boyfriend translates “me” time into “us” time.

Let’s also factor in the days when I have actual class on campus; I have to be physically present 2x a week. One night is a 4 hour class and the other is a 3 hour class. Plus the 2 hour drive roundtrip. That’s literally 10+ hours of my week gone, which takes away my “me” time and time for housework. Lolol. Basically, my schedule is f*cking I N S A N E. 🙂

So how do I manage to work around the chaos of my life? (Also, why do I overload myself in the first place?)

The answer is so simple, it’s going to sound stupid: I ask for help. (And I’m overworking myself now because these things will pay off in the long run, duh.)

That’s right – help. I get it from so. many. people. I am incredibly lucky to have such a great support system in my life, and in Elsie’s life. Like I mentioned before, her dad keeps her half of the time, which relieves a lot of my stress as a single parent and gives me a few days a week to catch up on my responsibilities. On days when I am coming up on a deadline and have Elsie, I ask my boyfriend or parents for help too.

Also, I don’t get everything done.

Not when I want it done, and often not when it needs done. I have missed so many deadlines between blogging, work, and school it would probably shock you. I’m not sure if I seem “put together” to everyone on the outside, but let me clear something up for you right now: my life is a total shit show.

I can go two or three weeks without doing a single load of my own laundry. Most of my homework gets turned in a week late. It takes me an extra 2 days longer than it should to get blog posts up. And my more “personal” posts have become more and more rare. I truly wish I could write at least one per week. I also wait until the last minute to complete projects at work because I am so overwhelmed that my brain can’t function or concentrate long enough to finish the task at hand.

Guys, I’m not perfect. Not even freaking close.

So to my kickass friend who asked me how I manage my time so well, I have to be honest. I don’t manage my time well. I’m a disaster just like everyone else, but I tend to hide it fairly well. I wish I had all the answers, but I don’t. Here are some pointers that I have found helpful when it comes to time management and getting shit done though:

(1) Start batching.

This concept seemed so strange to me when I first heard the term. But now I preach it to anyone who will listen. Batching is when you lump similar tasks all into one, rather than doing things one at a time as they pop up. For example, when I’m at work, I put all my payables into one stack and wait for that stack to grow before I post them.

If that example is totally foreign to you, consider blogging. I create multiple drafts all at once, then I go edit my headers and other photos for each post. After that, I will proofread/edit and format them. Rather than doing one post from start to finish, I create multiple posts and move through each step. It helps cut down on time that would have been spent hopping between projects.

(2) Set timers.

Give yourself X amount of time to complete Task 1. Then X time for Task 2. So on and so forth. I work better under pressure, so this really helps me keep my focus because I am creating the illusion of a deadline even if it’s not really due right then. Timers also help you hold yourself accountable for all the jacking around you may be doing, if you’re a huge procrastinator like me.

(3) Schedule deadlines.

Similar to timers, but more concrete. If you schedule deadlines for various tasks, you’ll be more likely to get them done (at least in my experience). So let’s say you know you need to get 3 loads of laundry done this week. Plan to finish the first load by Tuesday, the second by Thursday, and the third by Saturday. This helps you space things out so you don’t feel as overwhelmed (as long as you don’t procrastinate anyway).

(4) SMART goals.

You’ve probably heard this one before, but it really does help with time management! Figuring out specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, time-sensitive goals will keep your priorities in line and help you effectively manage your time by using it for things that matter. Even if it’s just something as simple as getting an A in a class. You can use SMART to figure out the steps you need to take over the semester in order to reach that goal.

(5) Sleep more.

I know I said I cut into my sleep quite a bit in order to get everything done, BUT! You actually are more productive when you get enough sleep. My sleep is often interrupted by a crying baby, so it’s unlikely for me to sleep through every night peacefully. However, if you’re staying up way past your recommended bedtime just because you want to watch an extra three hours of Netflix, that’s on you. Get some sleep! You’ll be more awake and ready to tackle your daily tasks no matter how many come your way.

So that’s it. That’s how I manage to maintain at least some control of my time despite being way overbooked.

Have other tips for time management? Share them in the comments!